All for the best...

So, this isn’t a video I made, but I am really enjoying it. Both the song and the video. Beautiful stuff.

As with most of Thom’s stuff, it inspires a lot of my own thoughts. I guess that’s how you know he is a really good artist in that their work transcends the meaning they were trying to get across initially, and you take away something personal from it.

I posted this on Facebook after listening to this song a good 5-10 times-

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All for the best…

The parallels between this semester and my senior year of high school are undeniably huge. Once more, I’ll be applying for schools. Again, I’ll be preparing to leave people behind. Once more, life will be uncertain, since I won’t know where I’m going until like spring of next year.

I’ve narrowed the choices down to four; I’ll be applying to four schools: UC Berkeley, UC Davis, UCSB, and SF State. Of these, the only one I really want to go to is UC Berkeley. Unfortunately, this is where more uncertainty comes in. You see, I haven’t been the best student in my 5 semesters at City College. My GPA is a lowly 3.157. For transfers, that’s pretty low. Ugh…

I am applying to Davis because, well, it feels like maybe we’re mean to be. I mean, look, it’s really the only place I know. Also, I know I could easily get in there from Sac City. It will also save me a lot of money, since I would most definitely live at home. I don’t care what some people may think. It’s all for the best. Nothing better than a home-cooked meal. Not paying for rent is pretty cool too. Yet, for some reason, I can’t get myself to really want to go there. I know it’s a good school. It’s just… there seems to be something holding me back from loving it.

UCSB is another place I’ll be applying to because I just want to see what happens. I don’t want to go to UC Santa Cruz, and UC San Diego is too far away, so this is my next most likely choice. As you see, I want to be close to the ocean. I guess it’s kind of a back-up school. It’s also kind of a way to give me an option if I don’t want to go to UCD. If I don’t get into Berkeley (which is a huge possibility) but the other schools, this will hopefully make things a bit more interesting, in that I’ll have to choose whether or not I want to stay home, move to the bay, or move south. I guess I just really want some drama.

SF State is up here too because it’s the ultimate back up school. I know I will get in here, if all else fails. Senior year, I got in there 2 weeks or so after I applied. It’s also a good school, and I’ve always wanted to live in the bay area. But you probably wont see me buying a SF State hoodie for awhile, or until it gets really cold.

All of this pondering makes me ponder, some more, whether I am putting too much weight on all of this selection of the right campus. Am I choosing these schools for the right reason? Will I choose the school I go to for the right reason? You see, I sure as hell didn’t want to go to Sac City at first. Of course, I was forced to go there because there wasn’t really another choice. Yet, I came around, and now I have fallen in love with this place. Seriously. It’s not just because the first person I met on the first day of school is the girl who eventually became my first girlfriend, no. It’s because of all of the people I met throughout the travels of my classes, mass transit commute, and just through other people. I didn’t think I would meet as many people as I did, especially going to a community college. Not to mention, I didn’t think I would meet as many people who would affect my life in the way they did.

Which brings me back to another one of my uncertainties. I don’t know if I am ready to leave just yet. I know it’s barely halfway through my 5th of 6 semesters at City College, and my opinion may change by that 6th semester. Yet, right now, I am so happy where I am at. I don’t care that I’ve stayed one year longer than people are “supposed” to stay at a community college. It’s called a “2 year school” but in reality, it seems like most people stay over the 2 year mark.

Yet, technically, after this semester as long as I pass all my classes, I’ll only have one more class to complete in order to transfer. It’s not even a math or science class. Just some sort of humanities class. For some reason that tells me I might be overstaying my welcome.

But I know it’s pretty much time for me to buck up and move on. It’s time to try new things, see new places, or in the case of going to UCD, finish school as fast as possible in order to move on again. The applications for SF State come out tomorrow, so once more, whether or not I want it to, it will begin. Once more, my life will be a series of blank boxes for me to check or fill out. I just hope it’s all for the best…