Repost: Out of here

I received this through email, it’s a very nice article, I thought I was reading my sentiments, I can truly relate to it, so let me share it to you.

Out of here

By Anna Veniza R. Arcilla

Philippine Daily Inquirer

First Posted 02:10:00 09/12/2009

Filed Under: Employment

Soon I will be leaving the company that has been my home for two years and nine months. The idea of leaving has been giving me nightmares, but I know this is what I really want.

When I first joined the company, I was an idealistic neophyte who believed that as long as I was doing my job, no problems would arise. I was happy with the company, and it became a second home for me. I gained friends and even won their respect and loyalty. I developed feelings for someone who turned out to be a womanizer (the feeling lasted for only one month), and now he is my ka tropa. I fell seriously for an IT guy with a wide forehead (who just got promoted recently), and now we are kind of “MU” (mutual understanding) after two years of waiting. And I was able to save enough money for some of my future plans.

Months passed. New people were hired, and trained. Some old co-workers got promoted and some left for reasons I could not comprehend at first.

Then it suddenly dawned on me that something was wrong with the situation. There were nice people who got promoted and began sprouting horns on their heads. There were others who were already bad even before they were hired and they were spreading discontent and havoc.

I saw a couple of my fellow workers crying because a monster of a manager had screamed at them. Even as tears continued to flow from their swollen eyes, they were still checking documents and searching for errors, no matter how hard it was to focus on the computer screen.

I saw my pregnant friend crying because a satanic manager was cursing her online. Another friend was humiliated by a moody manager when she filed for a leave of absence.

I reacted violently when the company decided to increase our salaries based on our rating system. A nice manager had given a neophyte a grade of 4+ (even if he was still committing a lot of errors) while another manager gave an experienced worker a grade of 2 (even though she was one of the best employees). The neophyte received a P1,700 salary increase and the latter got a P300 increase. Was that fair?

I learned that when somebody got promoted, it meant he had stepped on someone else, like crabs in a basket. I also learned that an employee is only an employee, and no matter how long he has been in the company and how hard he has been working, he still remains just an employee—without a voice, without the right to talk or to question things, and with the duty to follow and act dumb.

I am not saying this because I feel bitter. Bitter over what? Because I have never been promoted even if I have put all my energies into my work? Because I sacrificed time for my family so I could render overtime work in compliance with orders of my superiors? When my mom died in a hospital, I didn’t know about it until my shift was over because we were not allowed to bring cell phones into the work area.

It is every worker’s dream to be promoted because it means receiving a salary higher as well as some perks and privileges. But in this company, I cannot even dream of being promoted because that won’t change anything. Instead it will give the people above you another excuse to bully you.

I know that I am sounding like a spoiled brat, sulking over things I cannot have. But sometimes you need to act like a brat so that you will get what you really want. And now all I want is a work place that will be a true second home for me.

So, I had this plan of leaving, and a plan to find a replacement. Then I told my boss that I was quitting.

Two of the best managers of our department talked to me and told me they were happy with my decision. They understood and they knew how I felt. They seemed actually to share my relief as I was telling them about my decision.

Friends are asking me what made me quit. I tell them there is life after work, and that I need my life back. I need to slow down and assess my life and feel free for a while. And my only regret is that I didn’t do it earlier. I’m not running from the things that make me apply excessive eye liner and eye shadow to express my anger, I just want to clear my mind and know who I really am.

Now I realize that working hard is not enough to make one happy on the job. Some things aren’t good as what we want to be. I know that by leaving, I can learn things other than what I know now. I am not dumb, and I don’t want to be forever following black witches’ orders.

I used to be a kind, soft-spoken girl with an understanding heart, but now I am completely the opposite. I came to the point of looking at life as if it’s a curse. I don’t want myself to continue hating life.

I want the old me but I want to bring with me the things I learned. This place has made me strong. It taught me to be thankful for living a simple life, simple yet happy. It also made me realize that I miss my family and friends.

My father told me that I should look for a new job where I can be happy and which will not take me far from them. He reminded me that they had taught me and my siblings to believe that simplicity spells happiness. Who am I to disagree?

When I go, I will be leaving behind the people who have been nice to me. But this is a small world and I know we will bump into each other again and again. And there is Facebook and Friendster to help us stay in touch. As for the IT guy, he will still be there, texting me every night.

(Anna Veniza R. Arcilla, 26, is a graduate of Jose Rizal University with a Bachelor of Commercial Science Major in Management degree.)